I didn't arrive hostile to Hop. Honestly. I'm no Russell Brand-hater, and our boy does a personable job (or should that be rabbitable job?) voicing cute cartoon E.B., reluctant heir to the Easter Bunny throne. 

Fleeing to live-action Hollywood, the drum-obsessed teen fetches up with James Marsden's Fred, a 30-year-old ejected from his sit-com family for losing his job but now living in a mansion. And if this makes no sense, meet Fred's much-younger sister (Let's make her adopted! Let's make her Asian!) – presumably designed to shoe-horn in the film's age-demographic. Parents will have plenty of time to ponder many such gaping holes of logic and plot between childish chuckles (just the two – both in response to the word "poop"). 

Anyone expecting the originality or sass of Illumination's hit Despicable Me (in which Brand gruff-voiced Dr Nefario) should give this a swerve unless they want to spend too much of their life thinking, "Why are they doing this to me?" 
Answer? "Ker-ching!"

Every family movie needs a moral message. In this case, it's: "Greed is good, kids." Is it wrong to note that the idea came, not from the writers (one ex-Santa Clause 2), but from a studio exec? You loved Christmas, now meet... Easter! A whole new franchise! (RB fans may at this point recall Nativity Live:  "Don't forget, join us again at Easter when... this little guy gets nailed to a cross!")

But fine, stick to paganism... then set it in a city that has no Spring to speak of. "Why are they doing this to me?"  "Ker-ching!"

I was already queasy five minutes in. The opening credits roll over a vast underground factory owned, managed and policed by rabbits, where toils a race of fluffy chick workers (think Metropolis with feathers), churning out cascades of E-number-bright jelly beans and mudslides of subtly branded American chocolate (Never tried it? Try typing "American chocolate tastes like..." into Google). Willy Wonka without the irony. Yuk.

And the yuk never left. The plot, such as it is, hinges on our horror that Hugh Laurie's Victorian-plutocrat bunny dynasty might be overthrown by these proles, led by Hispanic Carlos and his mentally challenged underling (both Hank Azaria). If you buy into that, buy a ticket, buy the stuffed bunny come Christmas, buy the inevitable sequel.... "Why are they doing this to me?" 
"Ker-ching!"